Redneck Haiku

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Redneck Haiku

BEAUTY
Naked in repose
Silvery silhouette girls
Adorn my mudflaps

REMORSE
A painful sadness
Can't fit big screen TV through
Double-wide's front door

OPTIONS
Unemployment's out.
Hey, maybe I can git on
Disability

BLAZE
Distant siren screams
Dumb-ass Verne's been mowing with
Gasoline again

A NEW MOON
Flashlights pierce darkness
No nightcrawlers to be found
Guess we'll gig some frogs

EXUBERANCE
Joyous, playful, bright
Trailer park girl rolls in puddle
Of old motor oil

ALONE
Seeking solitude
Carl's ex-wife Tammy files for
Restraining order

DESIRE
Damn, in that tube-top
You make me almost forget
That you're my cousin

HATRED
I curse the rainbow
Emblazoned upon his hood
Damn Jeff Gordon

DRAMA
Set the VCR
Dukes of Hazzard Marathon
Starts at 9 O'Clock

DEPRIVED
In WalMart toy aisle
Wailing boy wants rasslin' doll
Mama whups his ass

NO SIGNAL
White noise, buzzing static
Call Earl; the satellite dish
needs new descrambler

IMPOUNDED
Sixty-five dollars
And cyclone fence keeps me from
My El Camino

GATHERING
In early morning mist
Mama searches Circle K for
Moon Pies and Red Man

PRIDE
Grinning, he displays
The nine hundred beer cans that
Fill his pickup bed

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