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College degrees. Real ones.
In 5 minutes. Mail order
college degree.
Subject: Personal Ads Glossary
WOMEN'S ADS
40-ish............................49
Adventurer......................Slept with all your friends
Athletic..........................No tits
Average looking..............Has a face like a basset hound
Beautiful........................Pathological liar
Contagious Smile...........Does a lot of Ecstasy
Educated.......................Banged her Political Science professor
Emotionally Secure........Medicated
Feminist........................Fat ballbuster
Free spirit......................Junkie
Friendship first...............Trying to live down reputation as a slut
Fun...............................Annoying
Gentle...........................Comatose
Good Listener................Borderline Autistic
New-Age..........! ............All body hair, all the time
Old-fashioned.................Lights out, missionary position only, no BJs
Open-minded.................Desperate
Outgoing.......................Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate....................Sloppy drunk
Poet............................. Depressive Schizophrenic
Professional...................Certified Bitch
Redhead........................Bad dye-job
Reubenesque.................Grossly Fat
Romantic.......................Looks better by candle light
Social............................Has been passed around like an
horsdoeuvres tray
Voluptuous.....................Very Fat
Weight proportion w/height......Hugely Fat
Wants Soulmate............Stalker
Widow...........................Drove first husband to shoot himself
Young at heart................Old bat
MEN'S ADS
40-ish.............................52 and looking for 25-yr-old
Athletic...........................Watches a lot of NASCAR
Average looking...............Unusual hair growth on ears, nose, & back
Educated........................Will patronize the shit out of you
Free Spirit.......................Banging your sister
Friendship first.................As long as friendship involves nookie
Fun................................Good with a remote and a six pack
Good looking...................Arrogant
Very good looking............Dumb as a board
Honest............................Pathological Liar
Huggable.........................Overweight, more body hair than a bear
Likes to cuddle.................Insecure mama's boy
Mature............................Older than your father
Open-minded...................Wants to sleep with your roommate but she's not interested
Physically fit....................Does a lot of 12-ounce curls
Poet................................Wrote ex-girlfriend's # on a bathroom
stall
Sensitive..........................Cries at chick flicks
Very sensitive...................Gay
Spiritual...........................Got laid in a cemetery once
Stable..............................Arrested for stalking, but not convicted
Thoughtful........................Says "Excuse me" when he farts
Lovers Caught on Tape - Voyeur Video
Cheating Lovers Caught on Tape Hidden Camera Sex video
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