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Here's a personal ad a subscriber to our friend's joke list (http://www.ernieshouseofwhoopass.com)found on AOL...
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50 year old male
I Am:
Height: 6' 0"
Body Style: Few Extra Pounds (four testicles, balding, ugly, and can't keep it up)
Race/Ethnicity: White (all round American loser)
Religion: Prefer not to say
Education: College Graduate
Occupation: unemployed, suspended lawyer
Income: Less than $20,000
Marital Status: Married
Has Children: Yes (Three spoiled brats who know I suck, but use me for money I don't have)
Wants Children: Not Sure
Drinking: Drink Often
Smoking: Smoke Often
Dating Distance Range: 40 Miles
More On Me:
My favorite type of music: Other
Some of my favorite musicians/albums...have no favorite, but will lie and say whatever you want me to
What do you like to do?
I like to date as many women as I can, use them for their money or for there horse farm so my daughter can ride for free, I usually date three at a time, like to each of them and tell them I am with no one else. I have a very perverted sexual mind. I have a dildo in my desk drawer, porn movies all over my house, and yet I can't keep it up to save my life. My wife believes any lie I tell her and so does my dad who supports me since I am a broke suspended lawyer.
I live off the system, can't pay any of my bills and blame my wife for everything. No one really knows that I am sociopathic and as long as the females keep coming to me, I will use them and lie as long as I can. I should be losing my home shortly, but I am sure my wife, my father or one of the three women I am dating will support me. Hopefully, you'll date me too.What celebrity do people say you resemble?
a drunkard or anal retentive misanthrope on Jerry Springer usually
I'd also like to say...
I have four testicles, don't own anything real, my children are spoiled and yet they hate me unless I buy their love. I will date as many women as possible, lie to them to make them believe they are special, make fun of them to my friends, and treat them great. I will never pay my bills. I like to kill off my daughter's animals since I can't afford to feed them. I never clean and my home which has liens against the property smells like dog urine.
I have a tendency to never clean my kitchen, which is bug infested, so, I need a rich nymphomaniac with an IQ of 12 to support me and my four testicles.Personal Thought or Quote...
I'm a loser baby, so why don't you kill me - Beck
My Match:
Age: 18 to 59 years old
Height: 3' 0" to 7' 0"
Body Style: No Preference
Race/Ethnicity: No Preference
Religion: No Preference
Education: No Preference
Income: At least $100,000
Marital Status: No Preference
Has Children: No Preference
Wants Children: No Preference
Drinking: No Preference
Smoking: No Preference
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